We know that how a woman looks on the outside is a reflection of how she feels on the inside.
When you’re feeling good in your skin, enjoying yourself, and taking pleasure in life—that’s when you look beautiful.
We know that happiness is your best cosmetic, and that a woman who feels wonderful is going to look wonderful.
But life is complicated. It’s not just pleasure and joy all the time. Let’s be real. All of us deal with struggles, and tough stuff, and the ups and downs of life.
Sometimes we’re frustrated with our loved ones, or dealing with a difficult situation at work, life throws you a curve ball, or we’re just plain tired.
So how do you take pleasure in life, even when life isn’t going your way?
It's worth experimenting, to take pleasure in life and enjoy yourself more no matter what is happening on the outside.
It takes some practice, but as you experiment with it, you will be kind of amazed at how much power you have to impact what your daily experience feels like. Just small shifts in perspective can help you enjoy whatever is happening so much more.
Does this mean everything is always totally fabulous and fantastic every minute of every day? Of course not. But it does mean that you can find small ways to take pleasure in life, even when you're not kicking back on a tropical vacation.
Here are a few of the practices to experiment with…
Practice radical acceptance.
This is a big one. It means: whatever is happening in the present moment, your first step is to accept it.
Before you respond to it, or think about it, or figure out what action you want to take, the very first step is acceptance. Now, does that mean I just accept everything that happens passively and don’t respond to it?
Definitely not. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you stay in a state of acceptance about whatever’s happening—it just means you start there.
For example, instead of immediately reacting to your partner’s behavior by wishing he or she were different, you start by accepting what’s happening in that moment.
Then, from that more relaxed state, you can decide how you want to respond. Perhaps you want to go for a walk to calm down further, or talk things through, or set a boundary, or just go do something that makes you feel good.
It’s the same thing when dealing with challenging moments at work, or at home with your kids or grandkids.
It means we don’t resist life. We accept what life is handing us—and then figure out how we want to respond to it in a way that will bring us the most joy and peace. I find that it’s a lot easier for me to figure out what response will bring me joy, if I start out by accepting what’s happening.
Look for things to appreciate.
Our brains are wired to pay attention to what bothers us.
Back in prehistoric times, we needed that alarm system for our survival. We needed to be extra attuned to whatever was wrong, because then we could get out of danger.
But now, most of the time, we don’t need to continually focus on what’s wrong. We have more room to relax. However, our brains are wired to notice what’s wrong, so it can take some intention to look for what’s right.
It’s a conscious practice. Whatever situation you're focused on—whether it’s with your partner, kid, a conference call, or other work obligation—take a moment to look at what you're doing and find what you appreciate about it. It can be anything! Even if it’s tiny. And I practice shifting my focus to that.
It’s amazing! When I do that, whatever might have been bugging me usually drops away. And if it doesn’t, I wind up having more perspective about it and insight into what positive action I can take to change it.
Laugh a lot.
Humour is amazing. It’s an incredible balm for stress—even for real pain. It makes life fun. It connects us. And it’s a deep, reliable source of pleasure.
Try to find ways to cultivate your sense of humour. Whatever your individual sense of humour is—whether it’s goofy or dry or sarcastic or clever or silly—use it to laugh more. Find the things that make you laugh with your loved ones and lean into them. Watch more videos that make you laugh. And look for the humour in everything.